Welcome to part 2 on my series on dating! So in part 1 I told you all my thoughts on being single, but now I'm gonna tell you about
pursuing a relationship with someone. I recommend you read part 1 before continuing on since in order to pursue a relationship you need to be single! Ladies, keep reading as well. Even though
men are the ones that need to be the pursuers, I've got some good points for
you girls too! I've learned a lot of the dos and don'ts of pursuing girls
through past experiences and through others. Let's begin!
1. Confidence
Don't be like Eeyore with low self esteem, but don't be like
Kanye West either, with an ego 10 sizes too large. Having a huge ego makes it
seem like you care about yourself way more than others, and others will think
you won't care for them. But you need some confidence to prove that you can
take care of yourself and others. Guys, how else are you gonna ask a girl out
if you don't even have the confidence to ask them out.
2. Use the Word "Date"
Men, repeat after me, "would you like to go on a date
with me?" Sounds simple enough right? But there are times when your
tempted to tweak that sentence a little bit, by taking out the word
date. Don't do that! Women like to know if that nice dinner, movie, or coffee
outing is a date. You need to make your intentions known. Don't leave the girl
second guessing on whether or not you 2 just went on a date. I've made that
mistake before by asking a girl if she wanted to go with me to a dance, instead
of saying would you like to be my date to the dance. There was one time that I
was too embarrassed to ask a girl out on a date, so one of my friends asked her
if she wanted to go on a date with me instead, without me asking him to do
that. Remember men, use the word date and ask her yourself.
Women, repeat after me, "yes." That was shorter
than what I made the men say. You girls are lucky! Now that I've helped the men
learn how to ask any of out on a date, this is where you come in. Assuming
you're single, do not be afraid to say yes. Give the guy a chance. Going out on
a date doesn't mean you're dating. Though the guy has intentions of dating you,
it is only a date and you can say you don't want to date him afterwards. Who
knows, you may like the guy a little beforehand and like him even more after
the first few dates. Just avoid using the word maybe. It's worse than saying no
to a guy, because you're not giving them an accurate answer.
3. Get to Know Each Other Before Dating
Don't just ask out a complete stranger, get to know them
first. Establish a good rapport with them. A popular word these days is friendzone. Don't let that scare you into starting a friendship with someone
before pursuing them. Granted, don't take years to pursue the girl. Make your
intentions known sooner rather than way later. Don't just hang out alone with
them a lot either, hang out together with other people as well. It shows that
you're outgoing and can get along with others. You'll need that quality if you
guys start dating, since you'll need to get along with your boyfriend or
girlfriend's friends and family.
As long as your friends with each other, it's my opinion
that it's okay to Facebook stalk them to find out important qualities you want
in a girlfriend or boyfriend, such as if they are Christian or if they're
single. But be careful my friend, too much Facebook stalking is bad. You may
find yourself and liking and commenting on literally everything they post, and
that person you're interested in will think you're clingy.
4. Be Yourself
Such an original topic right? Not like you haven't heard
that saying a trillion times now. But it's important. Don't pretend to be
someone you're not. You're best at who you are, and if the girl or guy you like
doesn't like the person you are, then more than likely it won't work out with
them. If you keep being someone you're not with that person and you end up
dating him or her, then you'd have to keep that going, and he or she will
eventually catch to what you're doing with disapproval.
5. The Signs
For us guys, we wish the world was perfect in which girls
made it obvious that they like us. But that's not the case. At times, girls
don't want to make their intentions known. And that's okay, because you know
why? It's your job as a man to go after her. Girls want someone that'll fight
for them. That doesn't mean fighting other guys that want her. That just means
being brave and pursuing her. So men, don't be afraid to ask girls out on a
date even if you don't know if they even like you. Ladies, if you want to leave
hints for men to realize you like them, that's okay too. Just make sure you're
not leading them on without realizing it, such as what you wear or how you
compliment them, assuming you don't like the guy as more than a friend.
6. Fear of Rejection
Let's face it, being rejected sucks. It's like finding out
you're not going to Cedar Point or Disney Land after hoping to go. I've been
rejected before. It's not fun. But it's how you handle the rejection that's
key. Don't be a sore loser to the girl or guy after they reject you. It shows
you only wanted one thing out of them. Don't be a loner for a while. You've got
God, friends, and family to go to for comfort. Learn from it, and realize he or
she wasn't meant for you. Just tell yourself, God has a plan for me and a
significant other picked out for me already.
If you feel determined to keep going for him or her, just
make sure they like you a little bit. If they are unsure of dating you, give it
time and give them some space. Not too much space though where you don't see
him or her for a long time. It's worked for me once. The girl eventually said
yes. Don't constantly go after him or her, they'll eventually get annoyed with
you and lower your chances of ever getting together with them. So sometimes rejection
isn't the end. It just depends on the situation and whether or not you're a
good judge of his or her feelings.
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