Friday, November 23, 2012

My Thoughts on Dating Part 3: Being in a Relationship


Welcome to the third and final part of my series on dating! Now that I've talked about being single and pursuing a relationship, it's time to talk about being in a relationship. I hope what I have to tell you will help out in your relationship if you and your significant other are having issues right now. And for those of you like me that are still single, here are some important tips that will help you out in your next relationship.

1. Loyalty
Don't cheat! That right there is obvious. But there's more to being loyal to your significant other than just knowing not to cheat on him or her with other people. You have to stick with them through thick and thin through any situation. If you can't do that, then marriage isn't a good idea for you two for a while. Don't stop complimenting each other. And also, make time for them. It shows how much you care for them.

2. The "L" Word
For all you people that have seen the movie Scott Pilgrim, I'm not talking about the word "lesbians". 















Wallace: "Tell her how you feel. Break out the "L" word!"
Scott: "Lesbians?"

I'm talking about the word love. The word you'll find everywhere and hear a lot everywhere you go. It's a dangerous word to be saying too soon. If you say you love someone too soon, it makes you seem like you want to take the relationship further really fast. And that can be scary for the other person. You don't own each other. You're dating, not married. I used to say the word love within the first month of dating. It made us too close to each other too soon. I can't tell you when to say the word love to your significant other, because I don't have an answer for that. All I'm saying is, just don't say it too soon. 

3. Intimacy
It's okay to show affection to your girlfriend or boyfriend, such as kissing, holding hands, or cuddling. But I warn you as a friend, do not take it too far. Going too far includes sex and stuff like that, well, you get the idea. I used to do things like make out way too much, even in front of other people. That's one of the things that I'd say ended my last relationship. I wanted intimacy too many times. Relationships are about way more than just intimacy. They are about things like being together, helping each other grow spiritually, and seeing if the relationship will ever develop into marriage. So cut down the lovey dovey stuff and do other things together like hang out with friends or go on adventures together. If you're going too far in intimacy with your girlfriend or boyfriend, talk to them about ending having stuff like sex, or end the relationship all together. Also, don't be too intimate with your girlfriend or boyfriend around others either. You'll annoy your friends and family and it'll be awkward.

4. Make Time for Others and Yourself
It's okay to hang out with the person you're dating, just don't do it too much! Spend time with your family and friends as well. If you avoid them too much, you'll drive some of them away from your life. I used to spend too much time with girls I dated. I feel closer now to my family and friends than I did when I dated back then. I realize now you have to make time for friends and family. It's also good to have some alone time. When I dated back then, I didn't spend a lot of time by myself. That's one of the reason I didn't do things I used to love a lot like reading my bible, running and playing guitar (read my post "Back to Where You Used to Be" for more on that). 

5. Communication


Texting is a useful tool we have now in society. But using that tool too much can be a recipe for disaster, especially in your relationship. If you text too much, you'll find yourself pausing in conversations with others and you'll eventually have less to talk about with your girlfriend or boyfriend when you're hanging out. But having too little communication can be bad as well. If you don't talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend that much, that could only lead down a straight path towards breaking up. Don't avoid talking to each other. You two are not only boyfriend and girlfriend, but also best friends.

Thank you for reading this post, and if you've read the entire series, then you are awesome in my book! The road to marriage isn't gonna be smooth. There will be bumpy paths, dead ends, and roads that lead the wrong way. But a good relationship requires 3 for it to succeed; you, the guy or girl you like, and God. I hope you learned something new from reading all of this. I've certainly learned a lot over the years and I plan to use that knowledge in my next relationship. Thanks again for visiting my blog! If you have any questions about my series on dating, contact me through Facebook or leave a comment on here. Until next time, remember, make good choices! And I lesbians you!

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